05-03-2020

05-03-2020

05-03-2020

A guy decides to buy a pet. He goes to a pet shop and, walking around, he spots a parrot hanging on a stick, with his head down. He stops, looks at him and says aloud:
-I wonder what happened to this parrot?
-I was born this way, I'm a parrot with no legs, its sad voice got heard.
-Phew, dammit! It sounded like this bird understood what I said and answered me.
-Of course, I'm a very intelligent and highly educated parrot, he said.
-Oh, yeah? Then answer this: how do you hang on the stick if you have no legs?
-Well, you see, I'm a little embarrassed, but since you asked me... I use my penis, wrap it several times on the stick... you cannot see it because I cover it with my feathers.
-Incredible! Can you really understand what people say and respond?
-Of course! I speak Spanish, German and English. I can hold talks on almost any subject: politics, religion, football, chemistry, economics and, of course, I am particularly good at ornithology. You should buy me, I'm a great companion.
The man looks for the price: $200.
-Too much for me!
-Pssst, the parrot calls him to approaches, waving a wing. Nobody wants me because I have no legs. Give the boss $20 and he will accept.
That's exactly what happened. The guy pays $20, takes the parrot and goes home.
But before entering the apartment, he asks the parrot not to show his skills in front of his wife. Thus, besides the fact that it will not be bored with endless dialogues with her about TV series, neighbors or who knows what diets, it can play the role of a spy while he is away at work. The parrot gladly accepts.
Weeks go by, the parrot proves to be extremely smart, interesting, almost a good friend, even regarding some advice about life, well and truly... the owner was really happy.
One day, when he gets home from work, the parrot discreetly makes him a sign with his wing, to approach.
-I don’t know whether to tell you or not, he whispers. It's about your wife and the mailman...
-Tell me immediately!
-Well... this morning when the mailman came, your wife greeted him with a kiss on the mouth. She was wearing only underwear.
-And?!
-After that, the mailman came into the house and started petting her...
-Holy shit! And what else?
-He took off her bra... her panties... he got down on his knees and began to kiss her all over, starting from breasts, going down... and down... to her belly... then lower... and lower...
Then the parrot gets silent, somewhat embarrassed.
-Aaaaand? What happened? Tell me now...
-I'm sorry, but I do not know anything else. I got hard and fell off the stick...