The polyamory or polyamorous relationship is the new trend of the world in terms of relationships, where there is a minimal openness to reinterpreting the idea of “couple”, “family”, “love” or “monogamy”. It is a new and equally interesting concept, which reveals that multiple love is not just a simple sexual relaxation.
Unlike swingers, included by critics in the same category with polyamorists (and with anyone who gets out of the established pattern), they promote numerically extended domestic associations and not just the occasional exchange of partners with the liberating goal of satisfying their fantasies well enclosed in the chests of their mind. They start from the idea that all mortals, without discrimination, have the right to “mate” with several partners (one at a time or all at the same time), respectively the capacity to attach themselves simultaneously to multiple “souls” for a longer time, if not... for the rest of their lives.
This type of connection is based on the freedom to interact both physically and emotionally as well as socially, with an unlimited number of “friends” (the time and energy resources being the only barriers, and the intimate “contacts” not reaching implicitly a sensational number). The “poly” lifestyle, therefore, redefines the relational inter-human system and its rules (sometimes hypocritical), replacing the loyalty to a single individual with acceptance and honesty.
Like any respectable practice, polyamory has a set of elementary principles worthy of competing with the global program of instituting peace on Earth: transparency, trust and the power of being happy for the “other’s” happiness. At the same time, it is encouraged to take responsibility for the own actions, and the diversity of options through an extended “concubinage” that may be bisexual or monosexual. Its members may or may not live together, sharing the bed and (possibly) the household chores, may or may not establish a certain hierarchy (accepting a main partner and several other secondary ones, or, on the contrary, each having equal importance), may or may not raise children, may or may not declare publicly their options on this subject... not that such a form of cohabitation would be easy to camouflage in the sight of some curious neighbors, for example.
That being said, there is also an inevitable question: why would someone bother with such intricate and serious commitments when they can calmly fly from flower to flower without complicating their existence to no end? In addition to a certain stability, which also the fiery rebels need (despite their passion for “alternation”), polyamory offers many other benefits to its fans:
1.-Improves health. Science indicates a strong connection between the frequency of intimate acts and the state of health. Those diligent in the bedroom enjoy a superior overall state, because sex reduces stress, increases immunity, stabilizes blood pressure; besides the fact that it is often responsible for the wide and contagious smile, rising out of the blue on the face of the culprits. With or without the wonderful “collateral effects”, the physical contact itself is a benefit. There is no need for a very intuitive spirit or pretentious mathematical calculations to understand that an individual with more lovers gets extra satisfaction (in all respects) compared to the traditional monogamous or the bachelor lacking success when picking up girls.
2.-Consolidates identity. Polyamorous people, like most lovers of sexual freedom, reject hypocrisy, occasional adultery or “sporty” adventures, choosing to speak openly about their own fantasies. They do not sweep under the carpet their interest in the new co-worker or the attraction to the child's nanny. Traditional couples discourage levels too deep of sincerity and punish deviations from the norm with at least some broken dishes or even worse... with stormy breakups, often spiced up with restraining orders. The possibility of expressing the “forbidden” needs becomes a major responsibility in the open relationship, impossible to function without total transparency. In fact, polyamory allows the individual to free himself from inhibitions and consequently kills the frustrations of having to behave differently from what he really feels.
3.-Gives a realistic picture of the partners. Although they have overcome the naive phase of childhood fed up with movies, magazines or books harmful to blood sugar level, adults still guide themselves, when choosing their other half, based on an idyllic portrait. The ideal male partner must be (necessarily) tall, rich, muscular, with a big penis and soul. The ideal female partner, in turn, must be (wise man saying) a lady in public, skilled when getting horizontal (whore, uncensored) and a cook in the kitchen (a somewhat marginalized requirement lately, given the trend of eating at the restaurant or even easier... in the street).
Polyamorists are realistic, flexible and rational beings who do not use Procust's abusive techniques to get their “companions” into an impossible to achieve pattern. The possibility to choose makes them calm and rational. They loyally appreciate their lovers, accepting their presence as such, because, paradoxically, precisely because they have several options (each possessing different particular qualities), they no longer feel attracted to the fascination of the unique obsessive ideal, which is an extremely healthy thing for the psyche.
4.-Ensures a “big and happy family”. Loneliness represents the last concern of non-conformist individuals in love and psychotherapy is totally unknown and useless to them. Whether they live together or separately, by the nature of the connections created, they are part of a social network with a strong personal touch and own rules of functioning. Those individuals share their bodies and feelings, as well as the worries, problems and daily stress. In other words, the lucky ones have someone to turn to for both ecstasy and understanding or comforting (if necessary), as the resources are directly proportional to the number of people involved and the dynamics that exist between them.
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Extending the meaning of the term “couple” brings many theoretical and practical challenges to those who participate in such an experiment. From the sharing of time, space, affection or body, to the rethinking of the traditional household roles, everything seems to be a challenge with potential of irreparable chaos, especially if are taken into account the possible slippages or the inappropriate management of attempts of all kinds (inherently appeared). Juggling with certain unpredictable situations, as well as responding to the needs of all complementary partners, develops into polyamorists a characteristic increasingly rare nowadays: emotional stability! Sex at discretion, ease of communication and flexibility of the relationship come in the end (comforting) as a small bonus. But... one that (fully) makes a difference.