What do you do when you see a woman you feel attracted to?
You avoid looking at her or getting close to her?
You tell her a phrase that you memorized from the Internet?
You think for minutes on end, trying in vain to intuit what would be more appropriate to start the conversation with?
How should you proceed?
When it comes to approaching a woman, the most common mistake made by men is that they think too much on what they should do or say “in the opening”. They believe that there is a “magical phrase” that works anytime, anywhere, with anyone... in any situation. But the truth is far from that. Paradoxically, what you say, in fact, does not have much importance. Capturing the attention of women is done, in most cases, exclusively by the attitude shown when approaching her. Non-verbal language, the gaze, the tone of the voice, the confidence and so on, all together form that “something” that will detach you or not... from the great mass of profane, insignificant competitors.
Being a brief and to the point article, we will proceed directly to a series of small and practical “steps”, which if you follow them carefully, you will often be able to successfully initiate an interaction with the opposite sex.
1.-THE SPONTANEITY. How can you be spontaneous? Simple. You see a woman you feel attracted to? You have 5 seconds to approach her! In this way, you will not have time to think about what happens if you are refused, having in your mind all sorts of “black” thoughts that could inhibit your initiative. Remember! There is no universally-valid phrase to be successful in such situations. There is only that state of grace that you can transmit... if you really want it!
2.-THE SMILE. Smile! This is a very effective subliminal message, that brings indirectly but surely, in the mind of your potential partner, that you are a friendly person and you approach her with good intentions. In addition, showing open palms is another mimic detail that you can use, as it suggests non-aggression (people feel more secure when they see the palms of the one who approaches them, due to an instinctual reminiscence coming from ancient times, when the gesture was used to demonstrate the absence of stones or any other objects that could be used in an eventual act of aggression). It is vital that the entry in the “safety” space of a person to be perceived as a cordial act, gracious and even intimate. In no way display a too serious facial expression. Clearly you do not want to be perceived as a “freak”.
3.-NON-VERBAL LANGUAGE. Pay great attention to non-verbal language (gestures, facial expressions, attitude, etc.) because it is the most obvious aspect that the interlocutor notices (unconsciously). If you approach a woman with your head down, you will lose her before you start talking. So, always stay straight, look straight ahead, chest slightly out, shoulders held slightly back and relaxed walking. Do not overdo it. Otherwise, you'll look like a guy stuffed with steroids trying to be “gentle”.
4.-SLOW MOVES. The moment you approach her in the attempt to open a conversation, do not make any sudden or “robotic” movements. Analyze your clothes objectively and do not be fooled that you look in a certain way just because you imagine it. The mirror would be a good “advisor”. Walk calmly with a certain slowness... in order to look confident and natural.
5.-VISUAL CONTACT. Keep eye contact. Never be you the one who breaks that invisible bridge to the eyes of the person you want to get to know. If you do, she will have the feeling that you are not comfortable or that your intentions are not really sincere. A deep eye contact will indirectly (mentally) suggest that you have charisma and you are sure of your own personality, and that's exactly what most women want.
6.-TONE OF VOICE. Do not use a too serious tone at the moment you are approaching a woman. The image of the individual lacking a sense of humor, sober and austere is not very appropriate ((even if society has taught you that such an attitude is successful). It would be advisable to have a voice with joking inflections, accompanied obligatory by a smile. Be that kind of man who knows how to entertain. But be careful... do not turn yourself into a clown!
7.-DO NOT ENTER IN HER COMFORT ZONE. Most “males” , when approaching a woman, consider appropriate to bow a little, in a gesture of uninspired humility... as asking for the woman's leniency to pay attention to them and believing that by such a body expression they will print to their action a harmless, innocent air. To her praise, the woman generally takes a straight, somewhat infatuated position. In fact, this is exactly her form of instinctual defense trying to discourage any attempt of violation of her own space. Moreover, if the man leans too much, getting into the comfort zone of the one he is trying to conquer, she involuntarily leaves herself little on her back, further increasing the communicational gap and leaving clearly the impression of higher social value she wants to keep, crushing in this way and without any effort, the “infallible” air that any suitor would like to suggest.
What can you do about it?
Have a little more confidence in your presence as a man. Stand straight and even let yourself a little on your back when you get into the perimeter of an unknown person, thus inspiring some desire to keep the distance and not be so familiar from the first moment, “forcing her” to bend or even make a step forward to be able to hear you. In this way, you will offer at the level of sensory suggestion a more pronounced meaning and implicitly, a high interest.
Now that you know all these steps, it is time to:
What does this indirect approach mean?
It means not to show your interest in the person you approached, right from the early moments of the conversation, leaving the impression that you are attracted to her for a completely different reason, other than that she looks good... (not for other reason, but too many do that, and you have to come up with something “new”).
Basically, all you have to do is to ask her opinion about something.
It is very important that you fully understand that the role of this movement on the metaphorical chessboard of seduction, is not to bring a particular person into the position in which she is attracted to you, but to provoke a conversation.
For this reason, “The Opening”, should be extremely short (maximum one minute). Then you can move to the next phase in which, by improvisation according to the situation you find yourself in, you continue the discussion, leading it skilfully to what you are interested...
There are 5 ESSENTIAL things you should take into account when deciding to approach a woman using the indirect method:
1.-THE PAUSE. It is essential to catch her attention before you start using the “Opening” words. A friendly greeting pronounced in an “audible” tone, then a brief pause to force your interlocutor to pay you due interest, is ideal. The pause is a key component in the approach equation! If she will not look back, it means either you did not speak loud enough or you did not show the necessary “authority” for such an approach, either ... “she acts the goat”. In both cases it is preferable to abandon the “assault”. Things can slip into uncomfortable or embarrassing situations, and this is bad for pride itself, also establishing the germs of precedents that demobilize.
2.-THE FALSE TIME CONSTRAINT. When you go to speak to a foreign person, the first thought that crosses her head will be: “I wonder how long this guy will sit next to me?” So it is ESSENTIAL that during the first 30 seconds of the intervention, to say in a cheerful but credible tone, something like: “I cannot stay more than a few seconds. I'm with my friends...!” In this way, you eliminate a discomfortable problem for the one you are talking to. But be careful that the sentence has a positive and not negative tone. A positive wording would be: “I cannot stay more than a few seconds, I have to get back to my friends.” and the negative: “I'll stay just a second, then I will not bore you anymore!”. Uttering the word “bore”' you’ve already outlined a possibility... that you are insipid! It is quite another thing if in the end, you will use the idea of boredom in a more inspired context: “I’m leaving now. I've bored you enough!” In 90% of cases, you’ll get a negation (meaning that you have not bored her at all), which can easily turn into a reason to extend the discussion... at least for another time. An ideal time to ask for her phone number.
3.-THE REASON. If she does not think that your intention truly reflects a real and sincere desire, she can interpret the step that you take, as an attempt to get into talk with her just for an out of reflex and quotidian desire, which you often make whenever you have the opportunity, without much discernment about the quality of the persons approached so (which probably happens in connection with his own person quite often, not being a very nice depiction). For this reason it is advisable to be as natural as possible, trying to express yourself exactly as you feel you should do in relation to what the personality of the woman you want to know inspires you.
4.-THE ADAPTABILITY. Although an overwhelming number of women claim that their ideal male model is a mannered, courteous, attentive and polite individual, in reality, this wish is just a precautionary measure due to the uncertainty imposed by their physical conformation and their “harmless” behavior. They just want to make sure that a possible interaction with a man will unfold on a favorable ground for them.
But the surprise comes when she is sure she has found the man she wanted and suddenly wants him to stop being so bohemian and boring at the level of statements, waiting to move on to more “wild” things. Suddenly, she no longer wants an office guy, but a biker.
This syndrome is not due to a misunderstood attitude of women or a complicated type of thinking. It is strictly the result of the fact that men have accustomed their consorts with the idea that they would do “anything” for them. Because if they are willing to do anything... why they would not transform from one moment to another in what they feel like to see, feel or love? It was not them who asked for the moon in the sky, right?
Therefore, to meet such requirements, you must always be willing to play the role you feel is being required indirectly, depending on her mood.
A woman who is satisfied from this point of view and can declare that she is not bored with you, you can add her to the chapter: CONQUERED.
5.-MAINTAINING THE CONVERSATION. Under no circumstances should you consider that your favorite topics of discussion are also those agreed by the women. No! Politics, sports, cars, games, business... are issues that Eve's descendants consider “childish” or at most activities from which they can possibly take advantage, but in no case to waste time with them in conversations.
Be interested in asking her about the perfume she uses, the clothes she has chosen, the jewelry -in particular the earrings- that she wears, about the magazines she reads or the diets she calls on “to preserve a body so attractive” (and thus you will make them a totally irresistible compliment). You will be surprised how much she would want to discuss about this topic. It wouldn’t be bad if occasionally, you would read some of the feminist journal. Put yourself up with all that is fashion, cosmetics, accessories or even celebrity life news.
Do not ever interrupt her and do not give up the mimics that suggests that you are actually captivated by these topics (even if you feel your head explodes because of all this stupid information). At some point, running out of resources or getting bored herself with the essence of the discussion, she will abandon herself in the sensuality of an exchange of ideas that will lead to... the aimed goal.
When you try to enter a woman's life, you silently repeat yourself that no one else but men have taught them to be spoiled, capricious and disinterested in the problems of real existence. It is not their fault and they should be treated as such.