Sexual attraction (sex drive comes from the brain)

Sexual attraction (sex drive comes from the brain)

With some exceptions where it is influenced by the weather temperatures moon phases or the terrible abstinence of three weeks and four days, the sex drive falls prey to the biological determinism, structuring on the background of physical attractiveness in relation to a person or another. 

In its turn, the physical or sexual attraction, announced often by some neuro-psychological signals, such as the installation of butterflies in the stomach, the precipitation of the pulse, dilated pupils and sweaty palms chore and the corvee of sweating palms, does not reflect the result of any consciously planned choice. No man says: ”The sixth unknown which I will meet, out of nowhere, will enliven my senses today, in a way never seen before!” And no woman proposes to make an obsession for the full lips and perfect bottom of the guardian from the shopping mall. It happens or it does not happen. 

But what happens when it happens and why doesn't happen when it doesn't happen? Theoretically, anyone could be compatible with anyone, given the error rates related to age, proximity and sexual orientation, irrelevant variables, however, in a restrictive and unofferor context, such as for example, the shipwreck in two on a deserted island, where the other one can become more appetizing than usual, thanks to the austere circumstances and to the inevitable need for sex.

Under normal conditions, however, the interest is granted selectively to those around and is located somewhere at the intersection of chemical, biological, genetic and psychological influences, which do not bypass any mortal in its unpredictable way through life. The brain is the one who decides who becomes attractive and who does not, what man would match the floral sheets at home, or what woman would guarantee the paradise, even for a single night of love. Or, as the psychotherapist Alain Héril says ”the brain is the first sexual organ”. 

The mechanism by which the brain concludes that a person has ”glue” and charisma is one subconsciously proceeded. 

The traditional and heterosexual perspective states that every person is involuntary seeking a partner with good genes and a high degree of fertility, in order to ensure its progeny. And the physical characteristics are appropriate indicators for this purpose. 

The woman with generous shapes denotes indirectly that she can withstand a pregnancy, breastfeeding, raising children. The man tall as a fir-tree, strong as cement and durable as the waterproof material, betrays his virility and the fact that he will be a real pillar of the family.

And as each wishes to ”push” forward its own genetic inheritance, men pursue women with fleshy lips, well-shaped cheeks, breasts visible from space and  waist of 7/10 circumference of her hips (the ideal waist-hips ratio for reproduction); and women raise their eyebrows at the sight of dominant males, with prominent cheekbones, strong jaw and symmetrical features.

This, the science proclaims, is the basis of “chemistry” between two people or more figuratively said, the arrow of the tireless Cupid: in their approach, both genders identify, without their knowledge, the signs of health and ability to procreate seen in candidates. The finding “I finally found the mother/father of my children!” is implicit. Explicit is only the desire of having sex. 

In addition to the visual stimulus which determine who will pass the test and who remains stationary on the bank of reserve or in the category of ”undesirables without the right to appeal”, there are also other criteria on the basis of which it is carried out the differentiation between attractive persons versus the persons who awaken decided reactions like “not in a thousand years”. The smell, the voice, the skin of the other, also put their imprint on the level of attractiveness with which it is invested unconsciously since the first sight. 

In this situation, it becomes explicable why some feel hopelessly and forever fell in love after having talked to a person on the phone, smelled a particular perfume or have bumped into someone in the subway. ”The magic” of hormones may play its number in a split second if the elements able to produce ”the latch” favorably blends in one or more persons nearby, thereby instinctually triggering the vision of the bed and of an incendiary “love” play.  

Still in a subtle and “conspirative” manner works the impact of beauty standards promoted by society. The fact that the fashion magazines, the biggest catwalks of the world, the porn productions promising erections and peaceful sleep, the TV shows, the already ”antique” contests of Mister and Miss idolizes a certain type of beauty, has an impact on the collective image on the concept of physical attractiveness. 

In the past, women who were more ”developed” and voluptuous were considered extremely sensuous  (we are not going to discuss the reasons). Today, “the thin ones”, passionate with the silicone-based growth of their essential areas (lips, breasts and bottom) are taken by assault and led into the bedroom. 

Patterns put monopoly on public tastes and preferences, creating  stereotypes in front of which people “surrender” sexually.

Beyond the physical appearance that betrays the genetic qualities, other ”ingredients” with tempting potential refers to details such as: character, social status, intelligence, creativity and kindness. 

Limited to the “evolutionary” explanation, those specifications  (genuine, unlike the exterior appearance), are classified as classified as reminiscences of the rush for the ideal partner for reproduction. Detached, though, from this context, they represent subjective standards in terms of which it increases the quota of someone ”on the market” and, by default, and hence its desirability note. How many of the women do not startle hormonally around a man with an IQ above average, considering him ”charming” or imagining him directly, without the intervention of some special efforts, in his... Adam natural suit? And how many of the men are not impressed by a playful personality, creative and original, which they associate with ingenious challenges and appropriate craziness in privacy?

The brain “scans” both, the packaging and the manner it is highlighted. Then it decides the verdict.

Although some assimilate the idea of physical attraction to the idea of romantic love, the two are not mutually exclusive, but neither is in any strict interdependence. The proof is constituted by the very experience of bold ones who do not have a problem in making love at the first meeting, with unknown persons or with various other persons to whom they don't feel some great passion, good to share at the altar or at least to the status, on Facebook. 

The condition (when they do not seek revenge on the ex, financial gain or other palpable or immaterial benefits), is to feel attracted by those in front of whom they remain without clothes, inhibitions and ”chastity belt”.

In some cases, the happening makes that the sexual attraction to an occasional (initially) partner to also develop an emotional component, turning into what generically it is defined as “romantic love” (which is not something intangible, mysterious or supernatural, but also a chemical reaction to certain stimulus which induce dependence, such as drug consumption -scientific research have made evidence thereof). 

In other cases, the attraction does not ”fall” in endless loves, relations stable in space and time or promising descendants, but is limited to either a negative response from the one who exerts it without intention on someone (it is not a rule for the game of seduction to be always successful), or to an orgasmic meeting equally advantageous for participants.   

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Men are more than just a source of semen, and women more than a welcoming uterus. Erotic attraction is not only a function targeting reproduction, perpetuation of species, transmission, by direct heirs, of the genetic heritage, bank accounts, wisdom about life and properties acquired with the sweat of one’s forehead. Even if, in fact, the motivations of those sexually active have a natural and subconscious side, everyone can control their love path as they please, but according to their natural dispositions and neuropsychological profile.

Good luck!