Crazy sexual inventions

Crazy sexual inventions

From a certain point of view, the idea of sexual toy itself is crazy. Why would someone long to introduce artificial objects in different parts of their body or to swarm their "organ" in various devices that reproduce peerless women vagina?

Maybe many questions of mankind remained unanswered... But not this one!

The pleasure, the variety, the solitary evenings, the erotic literature or the effect of some successful marketing strategies, are just a few of the reasons leading the "guilty ones" to reserve a secret shelf for anal beads, vibrating panties or penis extenders.

  The history of sexual accessories is very complex. It starts long before the "imitations" very fashionable in contemporaneity, being closely linked to the phallic sculptures which ancestors made manually, since 30,000 years ago. Such an ancient dildo, which represented very clearly the male genital organs with satisfactory size (20 cm), has been discovered by archaeologists in the cave Hohle Fels in the southern Germany. 

"The model" is , however, only one of the numerous examples of imitative forms that people used in the past, for the same purpose remained valid today: fun, enjoyment, stimulation and, why not, treatment of the "headaches".  

 The precursor of the classic vibrator starts its existence in the England of the 19th century. Observing the tradition of healers since the ancient times, which prescribed the genital massage for dealing with hysterical women, specialists in this period recommended to their patients repeated sessions of manual masturbation. 

The "curative" touch of the woman’s vulva and clitoris, by the doctor with able and strong hands, was intended to bring the ill woman on the verge of "hysterical paroxysm of relieve” (the scientific and fatuous name for what meant, as a matter of fact... an orgasm).  

As the "clients" increased in number every day (who would voluntarily refuse a guaranteed series of "medical" pleasures?), the procedure brought serious earnings to professionals, but also very many cramps in their hands. Whole hours of pampering vaginas from the high society (not everyone could afford the "treatment"), had to ask, sooner or later, for their price.  

The need to save time and energy with patients who came tensed at the "office" and leaved relaxed, was quickly installed in this context of difficulties encountered by the doctors-suppliers of thrills at a large scale and money. From here until the patent of the first electro-mechanical vibrator by the British doctor Joseph Mortimer Granville, was just one more step.

Developments in technology allowed improving and diversifying the products of profile, at high search on the market. Human creativity has also proved its potential in this respect, such that there have been created manual, pneumatic variants, for losing weight and many, many others. 

Once with the second half of the twentieth century, the destiny of the little object invested with major miraculous powers, significantly changed its path. 

 The successful introduction of the spectacular "instruments" in the pornographic productions, the decision of the American Association of Psychiatry to eliminate "hysteria" from the list of medical disorders (1952), as well as the revelations of sexologists of nowadays with regard to the erotic behavior as a whole, have gradually led to the evolution of the "artificial lover" from the medical statute to the one of a "simple" sexual toy. 

The scoop of products intended for the love use has considerably expanded in time, progressively leading to an explosion of accessories for ladies, young ladies and gentlemen, heterosexual individuals, gay men, bisexual people, couples, beginners with common preferences or conversely, revolutionary experts into the bedroom.

Today, all tastes are covered, and the complexity of the offer is visible with a single click or with a simple visit to specific shops, where vibratos of various shapes, sizes, colors, and specifications, realistic or less realistic, in mini sizes, for "travel", gigantic ones, anal ones, with odd names ("egg", "bullet", "bunny" or simply "traditional"), are accompanied by dildos as popular and varied, "masturbators" for men, inflatable dolls, lubricants, stimulants and  aphrodisiacs, pumps to increase the penis, rings and sleeves, whips, handcuffs and many other possible devices appropriate to "classic" love or alternative  of BDSM type. Products are plenty for everyone, and some of them show a high level of ingenuity.

Fugitively prospecting the market, we could say that a potential classification of the most crazy, bizarre or unusual sexual "eccentricities" would look like this:

1.-The scorpion vibrator. As it is easy to guess, this "substitute" has the shape of a black scorpion, fitted with clamps, brackets and a tale. To give a "frightening" touch to the wonderful thing, manufacturers have chosen to market it in a box of dark color which imitates a coffin, the text inscribed on the packaging suggestively complementing the "metaphor" of the presentation with the promising message: Death by orgasm. In its "entrails", the scorpion hosts a small engine that puts the "beast" and its elements in motion, transforming it into a suitable utensil for both internal stimulation, as well as external. Although easy to maneuver, the product is addressed however to ladies with "old" experience in the field, enough humor and normal heart beat.

2.-The flashlight for masturbation. The flashlights are sexual "blessings" specially designed for the gentlemen who want to save from time to time their right hand. In the absence of the contrary proof, they look like ordinary flashlights. But the cover, once removed, betrays the true "identity" of the object, revealing a fine silicone tube, in whose end there is the molding of a vagina. The interior also reproduce the female anatomy, so that the product to offer sensations more closely resembling to the real experience. 

3.-Dragon's tongue. This unusual "invention", inspired as from a SF novel, look as its name says, as a tongue. But not any tongue, one of a dragon. The utility is not hard to guess. Having a base which combines the mythological animal image with that of a scrotum, plus the sizes, colors, and different degrees of hardness, the "substitute" meets the various weaknesses of buyers. In case they prefer a small "tongue", the urge is to opt for a firmer texture. If they want an imposing one, then they should reorient their attention to a material something more flexible (at least, that's what specialists recommend)! 

4.-The bag for sex. The bag for sex behaves like a real machine of making love and can replace with success the absence of a partner to push the right "buttons". Even if it passes without any problems, as a normal briefcase, of day-to-day work, the "miracle bag" doesn't know how to store documents, keys, lipsticks, sun-glasses or money, but only... to satisfy. It is foreseen, on one side, with a potent dildo, capable of being controlled from a distance with a remote control in the infrared, having multiple functions which may be set depending on the mood, the moment of the day or "temperament" and it is brought to "life" either by connecting it to the nearest socket, either by using batteries. Another good news would be that the bag for sex, works both horizontally and vertically.

5.-The gold vibrator. For the ladies substantially rich (or the lucky ones with  lovers who know how to offer "useful" gifts), it was invented the vibrator 24k gold-plated, small, quiet, stylish and specialized to certify its "value" not only to the view, but also... to the vagina. It does not have any restrictions on its use, but only some of time limit: it can easily be "worn" also outside the house, but "only" for 7 hours (the max level up to which its rechargeable battery resist heroically and stoically).

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As the "parent" of all  sexual surrogates, the vibrator has known a winding road from remedy against hysteria, to anti-aging treatment, from dubious device (prohibited from a legal point of view) and to the ideal "partner” for many lonely souls, or the piece of resistance which the starlets with impressive bust "aggresses" artistically in the movies for adults. 

Despite its tumultuous past, it is important that not a moment its far from negligible role in the sexual life of the majority has never been denied (as all other similar accessories).