Motivations and controversies around bisexuality

Motivations and controversies around bisexuality

Specialists, that is to say those individuals with professional opinions, claim that everybody is bisexual, whether they realize it and peacefully accept their orientation, or if they live in constant denial.

If the mankind feels or not attraction to both genders is less important. The fact is that a non-negligible part of the population falls within this category. A category of people excited both by men and women (which considerably lowers the risk of spending their evenings alone, on the couch, watching adult channels). In other words... more opportunities.

The attitude of the “others” towards bisexual people has different shades. In some contexts, the ladies loving other ladies are tolerated, even encouraged to freely and indiscreetly express their interior “callings”. By the penis owners, or course, living with the idea that every pajama party ends triumphantly with all female participants caressing each other and practicing complicated Kama Sutra positions.

There are also situations when female bisexuality is indigestible, as it is considered a subtle threat to the perpetuation of life on Earth. Since... if the ladies spend their time sharing the sheets with each other, do they still have time for important tasks such as cleaning, cooking and maternity? (some guys frightened by the prospective of overturning traditional roles in society may wonder).

In other words, the cataloguing of the phenomenon in question depends on the general view of both sexes, taken together or individually. On the other hand, trying to define with precision this matter reveals some of the absurdity and futility of dissecting obvious facts. Trying to explain why a person “loves”, without gender discrimination nor underwear, his peers, is like trying to explain why a talented person sings, dances or creates recycled bottles sculptures.

However, besides the natural tendency that Earth’s most daring people consciously unleash, there are also some reasons not determining the imperative, but the personal choice to explore alternative ways of accessing love fulfilment that everyone wants. They include:

Curiosity. Yes, curiosity. An ingredient unknown to adults used to take things for granted, without first passing them through their personal filter or asking essential questions about them. Although, with age, many become conformists, blasé and exhausted because of the dull but indispensable priorities of existence (paying bills, cozying up with the boss, buying the latest German car), some people take time also to experiment something new, understanding that life is way too short to be lived by strict rules.

The need for comparison. The need for comparison is activated (especially) in the case of women who propose or accept a second graceful presence in the bedroom, alongside with the “operational” male, in order for them to... test their own skills! That’s right, you heard every word. Women don’t compete only when it comes to lipsticks, purses, career and lost kilos, but also when it comes to erotic skills. And sometimes they need competitions able to prove their... “moral” strength. It may sound like a stupid and childish motivation, but ladies are “obsessed” with confirmations, obtained at any price, about their undeniable superiority. Not that gentlemen are different...

The desire to please their partner. Materialized in the same “ménage a trois” formula, the desire to fulfil the fantasies of their partner, sometimes leads to “radical” decisions: “Yes, we can bring someone else in the bedroom. What does it matter that I do not feel attracted to people of the same sex? It’s just a detail!”. But it becomes interesting when such a “combination” starts to seem attractive.

The lack of labels. Besides today’s many conformists, there are also people used to think not outside the box (since this has already become a cliché) but inside of it, but from a particular angle. These are the rebels immune to the rules, labels or classifications, happy to hook up with anybody, regardless of their gender. For them, what others have in their pants has an insignificant relevance (as long as they don’t hide Siberian forests or some venereal diseases). Attraction, compatibility and interest are the most important aspects. Reason why they never take into account the cultural habits or heterosomes, but the person themselves.

Disappointment with the opposite sex. Even if it sounds like an obsolete soap opera topic, disappointment with the opposite sex is sometimes a good reason for divorce, but also a fundament for some pseudo-revelations such as: “Wouldn’t it be better to slow down with the men, since they are all pigs, and rather throw myself in the arms of a sensible being who is capable to really understand me?”. No one knows to what extent men use a similar logic, but in the case of Eve's descendants, the need to be with a “compatible” person opens new horizons.

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Some of the motivations work in the short term, having an episodic role (the experimental ones fit perfectly into this chapter), others show a “happily ever after” involvement. Could we talk of bisexuality only for the latter ones? Or is it that any intimate encounter with someone of the same sex constitutes conclusive evidence, regardless of its temporary nature?

This is another question that can be added to the immense content of existential dilemmas, but not before the most important of the questions: are we or not a mass of incurable bisexuals, unprepared to accept their “destiny”?